Yesterday Hubby and I were on the road several hours, giving me a good bit of time to think. Yes, I am going to share a lot of that with you.
What is blogging?
Wow, that is one of those questions that everyone thinks they know the answer to until you ask them! I was blogging before people we were using the term "blogging" on a regular basis. Seriously, I was writing frankly, as I do now, about LIVING with Fibromyalgia (FMS) online back in the 90's. Back then, most of us just shared whatever we were thinking that day, whatever we were going through, or we were giving a response to a question or post made by someone else. As time went on, that evolved into posting articles and explaining them, developing longer articles ourselves and breaking them up into a series, recommending other resources, etc.
Now, blogging is mostly the more "formal" aspects of all of those things we were doing. Yes, people are sharing their personal stories and experiences, but almost everything is written very professionally. There are resources on "how to" blog that recommend not posting until you have a "series" of articles "ready to go" so your blog "flows", building up to selling a book you have written, a program you have put together, an online class, or personal coaching, etc.
I want to say upfront that I see nothing wrong with that! In fact, it was a concept I saw the potential for from my first days of "blogging before we knew we were blogging". Writing articles that give information but also point to sources for more information that is not free is certainly savvy but that does not make it a bad thing. It is honest, fair, etc. People have the choice of just accepting what you share for free or spending money to get more and, by now, almost everyone knows to expect it to be this way.
Other options being taught are to make money from your blog by having ads associated with it. For every ad that is clicked on, you make a bit of money. Yes, it can make a page a bit busy looking but other than that this is also savvy and honest.
Why Am I Blogging...Again?
I know I have openly discussed this with you more than once. I suppose it is a throwback to my original days of blogging where we really did just share what we were thinking and feeling. I realize it does not fit with today's models. It is self-indulgent, and by now, frankly probably boring to most. But, it really reveals who I am to you--and those who know me in person know, I am "very real" with people. Other than that, however, it does fit with what fibroLIFE is: An example of the actual LIFE of someone who has FMS and is trying to LIVE it to the fullest, in spite of having FMS. So, I have decided to go ahead and share my thoughts, again: Why am I blogging...again?
Sometimes, y'all, I know, it is not professional of me, but it is how I would talk to you if you were here, so, y'all, SOMETIMES it is so clear to me. Other times, the fatigue, fibro fog, and self-doubt takes over and I find myself lost. Honestly, one minute the entire future of fibroLIFE is flowcharted out in my head, but in the blink of an eye, it is all lost. I keep telling myself I am going to get it all written out when it comes to me, just as I used to do and have taught so many others to do, but it always seems to come to me when I cannot just stop and do that. When finally I can, it is no longer clear. I have gone ahead and put down what I could remember, but I falter. I get things wrong, I get confused, I forget key aspects, and I forget that some things have to be done in a particular order--I even forget who my target audience actually is. The truth is, some days I have blogged in error. Not in the information I share with you. I make sure to always share from trusted resources, but I falter in my own plans-- in the direction I indicate that I am heading or what my "big picture" is.
Crying now. No, not to be dramatic, garner sympathy, or anything like that. Seriously, I am openly humiliating myself for all of cyber-word to read to OPENLY LIVE my fibroLIFE before you. I want you to see, you are not the only one. I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that FMS puts others through the same daily trials that you are face.
If I was anything in my past life, it was an organized planner, with vision--big vision. Even a few years ago, I could map out comprehensive plans clearly. I failed to complete them because I did not have the energy--not because I was not able to come up with them. Keep in mind please, I know I have had FMS my whole life, so I am saying that EVEN with FMS, I was able to do this. Just a couple of years back, I still had days that I was "on"--that I was "me". I miss "me".
I hate FMS, and I really miss "ME". Despite so much of the research saying that FMS is not progressive--that it does not affect us in a progressive manner, that we do not "get worse"--I personally have experienced a decline. My fatigue is more frequent and harder to bounce back from. While I may not be totally foggy all the time, formulating comprehensive plans as I used to has become so very difficult for me. It is like the fog now clears away less completely than it used to. I falter far more often, not even realizing it, because the fog is not necessarily so "thick" that I cannot think, but it is there just enough to make me "less sharp".
Why Would Anyone Keep Reading When a Blogger Admits This?
Ah, why indeed!
Well, I assure you, I do not think you should continue to follow me because I am anything particularly special! Yes, I still know I am intelligent with a background and experience that will allow me to help others, but there are a LOT of others who are all of that and more. I read their works, I see what they are doing and realize that I am now struggling so very hard to produce anything close to the level of quality they are, the degree of importance, etc.
Crying...dear God, I miss ME! But...
In truth, I have never been one to blend in! Never! So, actually, I AM being ME, still! A different version--because we all change--but yet we stay the same. True to form, I am not like anyone else out there--and that is why I am not going away and I am bold enough to ask you to stick with me. No one else is "blogging old school" anymore. I am. I am openly sharing with all who want to read it just how a fibroLIFE looks, feels, fails--and succeeds, changes, etc. Whether you have FMS, you have friends or family with FMS, or you just want to know more about it, I have not found anyone else online who is providing this degree of insight into their fibroLIFE.
I am not the ME I used to be. I am mourning that--the new losses I am experiencing--in the open. I am sharing how, in spite of this latest loss, I am continuing to LIVE my fibroLIFE, CHOOSING to do so as a happy person, not as a defeated, bitter, miserable person, not taking my pain, loss, etc. out on others. I am "leading you by example" to stay positive and find new ways to be productive. And my tears have dried--I am smiling--because if ever I have been anything in life--anyone in life--this is what I have always done and who I have always been: Doing things a bit differently than others.
So, take that FMS--I am SILL "ME"!
I am not going anywhere folks. I am going to figure this out--my LIFE--day by day, right here for you all to see, failures, mis-turns, and all!
I am not the same, but I am still "me", in spite of Fibromyalgia. You are not the same, but, like me, you can still be "you", in spite of Fibromyalgia.
I am not just telling you that I am doing this, I am SHOWING you.
Blessings all! Have a great day!