If You Knew You Would Not Be Judged…
One of the people I follow on facebook had this question posted today: If you knew you would not be judged, what one thing would you do differently? Surprisingly, everyone was declining to answer! Not surprisingly, I did not hesitate to answer. After all, the parameters of the question clearly stated, “If you knew you would not be judged…” What was there to fear? Apparently, no one else believed that they could trust that they would not be judged.
To be honest, I did not believe it either. I suppose since I knew I would be judged, I must not have cared. Why else would I have answered?
Another person I follow on facebook had a bit of a twist to a common quote. Instead of saying, “I’d rather regret something I did than something I did not do,” the comment made was, “I find what I regret most are all things that I did.” I could not relate at all. Of course, I regret things I have done, but at least I “did”—I LIVED.
I have faced challenges in life—big ones—as far back as I can remember. I had severe pain and was not well, but not actually sick either, as far back as I can remember. I lived in fear in my home—the one place every child should feel safe—as far back as I can remember. People did not believe I was in pain or sick. People did not believe that home was not safe. They did not always come right out and say so, but, even as a child, I could tell.
Maybe the fact that I have dealt with knowing I was being judged—and wrongly—from such an early age is why I was the one today who answered the question of what I would do differently without hesitation.
Add to that, staying safe and feeling well were never “givens” in my life—again, as far back as I can remember. So, yes, many of the things I regret are things I have done rather than things I did not do, but I am more than good with that. I want my mistakes in life to mean something—to be because I was trying to do something rather than not trying. Doing nothing is existing. Trying is LIVING.
What did I say I would do differently?
I said I would have studied Ancient History and Civilizations, become an Egyptologist, and have spent my life traveling—probably while remaining single.
Logically, the next question has to be: Since I feel so strongly at this point in my life that I wish I had done these things, what am I doing about it now?
I have read about Ancient History and Civilizations my whole life, and continue to do so today. The same with Egyptology. I travel as much as I can. Granted, I have not been able to travel to the places I read about, I am looking for ways to do so in the future. In the meantime, I am part of several online groups that have the same interests.
Also, because I love Ancient History, loving history in general was a natural progression. I have studied World History and American History for years. I have traveled to many of the places I have studied, including St. Petersburg, Russia. I plan to travel to even more of them. Also, I now LIVE in one of the places I studied: Vicksburg, MS. I am also, as my followers know, now DOING what I can to support “Rediscovering Historic Vicksburg”.
I am not worried about being judged by others. I am not worried about mistakes I might make because of what I am trying to do. I am too busy LIVING my fibroLIFE© to the fullest, in spite of Fibromyalgia (FMS).
I want to end with a few questions for you:
Yes, someone will judge you, but what would you have done differently?
Yes, you will make mistakes, but what are you going to do about it now?
It is a brand new year; what better time to start?
I heard a quote today I am going to borrow and modify a bit: I want to be at the scene of the TIME!
I am very excited about what all of us are going to do in 2017, each LIVING our fibroLIFE©!
Hmm, thought provoking question! I honestly don't think I'd do anything differently. Yes, life has had its challenges, but all lives will have their challenges, and I am happy my trajectory has brought me to where I am and that I have learned so much along the way.
Leave a Reply.