Recently I was asked to discuss the nuisances of having Fibromyalgia that one would not necessarily find in a book, research writings, etc. As our discussion of FMS moved along, this person asked to just speak on the phone or do a live web chat. At that moment, what this person was seeking became perfectly clear to me: Fibro Secrets. What are Fibro Secrets? Those of us with Fibromyalgia are indeed a quirky bunch. We deal with symptoms and issues we are hesitant to even share with one another, let alone doctors, researchers, etc. After all, they seem to struggle just accepting our pain, fatigue, mental fogginess, and mood symptoms. If we talk about much more than those issues, we fear losing credibility. Thus, there exists our Fibro Secrets. Every time I have opened up about a few of my own, I have had multiple people tell me how relieved they are to know that they are not the only one! What are these Fibro Secrets? There are several, so I am going to make this a series of blogs in which I share my "Big Three". I call them that because of how difficult they were to ever discuss with anyone and/or because of how many people who I have told that have basically replied with, "Well, that is just nuts!" Meshea's Fibro Secret One: I hate talking on the phone! Also taking the award for The Most Eye Rolls Ever, this is my best known Fibro Secret. In fact it is so well known that to still call it a secret is very misleading. I continue to do so because I know many others are still hiding how they really feel about talking on phones. At nearly every conferences or fibroLIFE event I have attended, I saw the proverbial weight of the world seemingly lift off the shoulders of several around me when I have said, "And I do not talk on the phone!" Immediately, I hear, "It is not just me?" or "My family thinks I am nuts when I tell them this!" I laugh and reply, if someone I know well sees my name come up when their phone rings, they do not bother with "Hello". Instead, they answer the call with, "What's wrong?" I always here a chorus of "Me too! Me too!" Next, I am always asked why I think we are like this. I can only answer for myself. For me, talking on the phone is exhausting. I have to put energy into sounding like my usual, perky self--of being "on". Texting and emails do not require this surge of my limited energy. Plus, if my words come out wrong, backwards, or if I have to pause to even find them, texting and email does not give that away either. I talk to my boys, my husband's children, and my husband every time they call and I actually will call them on my own. I answer most calls from Momma, Daddy, and my in-laws. If I am not up to talking, I call them back as soon as I am, and they are very aware of this. I also call them sometimes on my own. I have some other people that simply do not text or do email that I will answer the phone for as well. When business absolutely requires it, I do my best to handle the calls. But everyone else who knows me knows that if I call them, I am putting forth a special effort. It may take me a week to find a time that I feel well enough to call for a doctor's appointment. Sometimes I am not sure which is worse: when the power goes off or the phone call I have to make to report it! The things I must do each day exacerbate my symptoms and wear me out enough. I do not like being even more tired, having more anxiety, and thus more pain and fogginess over talking on the phone when there are perfectly good alternatives. For those who do not have FMS, I certainly realize this sounds ridiculous. That does not change my reality, however, therefore, for many years this was one of my Fibro Secrets. I now discuss if openly because I have seen how much I have helped others in doing so.
23 Comments
Alice Mast
6/1/2016 08:13:23 pm
I hear you...I hate talking on the phone also for all the same reasons you stated !!! Thanks for sharing !!!
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6/1/2016 09:02:37 pm
Thank you Alice for letting me know! Bless you!
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Gayle Hudson
6/1/2016 09:44:08 pm
Me too but never heard anyone say this before. Thank you so much.
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Pat Moody
6/1/2016 11:08:29 pm
I get so panicky when I have to talk to non family members on the phone... I literally forget what I wanted to talk about; who I called and why, and things like my phone number, Soc. Sec. Number, and birthdate. As soon as I hang up the phone, all these facts return to me!!! It's embarrassing!!!
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Amy
6/1/2016 11:34:05 pm
I hadn't even realized that I do the same until I heard you put it into words, but it's very true.
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Marsha
6/2/2016 07:06:34 am
This is definitely so true. So glad to know that I am not alone.
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6/3/2016 09:56:23 am
I have the same issues. I feel guilty that I do not stay in closer phone touch with my children and my dad, but the fact is, I find it difficult for the reasons you mention. I can also turn a few minutes into much longer because I lose my train of thought. If anyone knew how long it takes me to prepare a written response, review it several times, etc. they would understand. We always want our best foot forward. That's human nature.
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I truly get you on this one! It has gotten worse for me as time has gone on. It takes up a lot of my energy to talk on the phone, which people totally don't get. I have to make calls on my clearer days, when I am able to think and respond to things. I absolutely can't do the automated message systems, and then there is the stress of having to make a call when you know you might just blank out or not understand something... Emails and texts are so much easier (even though it still takes me time to formulate responses most days) I can always share them with other people to make sure I understand, after i've re-read things and they still don't make sense, and I typically have someone review my messages before I send them. If I can't, I'll usually wait a bit and get back to it, re read, and make any changes... You simply can't take the time you need to process when you're on the phone receiving the auditory stimulus... and this isn't even taking into account, any med side effects you're experiencing...I'm always glad to hear when someone else understands this!
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Rosemary
6/3/2016 02:44:32 pm
I thought I was the only one !!!!
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Margaret
9/6/2016 07:48:58 am
I hate to talk on the phone. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one or why I'm like that. Thank you so much for writing your post.
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Meshea
3/15/2017 09:54:18 am
Valerie,
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Yes, yes, yes.
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Meshea
3/19/2017 06:27:42 pm
Thanks Sam! I appreciate the feedback and support! Send me links to your forums and I'll share them!
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Margaret Morish
5/12/2017 08:45:11 am
I'm just like that. I hate talking on the phone. Some times I have a hard time texting. My brain Miss spells words. It takes forever to text something. Talking on the phone confuses me. I can't remember what was said. I have a terrible time talking on the phone. Thank you for sharing this with us. My sister has the same problem. She can't even text anymore.
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Meshea
5/12/2017 10:34:23 am
Margaret,
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