My Big, Fat fibroLIFE©!

​As well as LIVING a fibroLIFE, do you struggle with weight?
I really would love to hear from you!
It is very hard, and I do not know about you, but some days,
I feel very alone with my battle. ~Meshea​

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​My Big, Fat fibroLIFE©!

Heck of a title, huh? Can any of you relate?

Well, for me, this is just how I really feel about it.
I am five feet, zero inches tall but heavy enough to be six feet, six inches, and that is by my reasonable standards, let alone what the crazy weight charts have to say on the matter!

Here are the facts:

• I have battled weight since I was about 12.
• I have lost down to what the weight charts said I had to be twice. Both times, my blood pressure was so low I could not walk a straight line. I had to live off of lettuce, tangerines, a few bites of meat every three days, and occasionally—once a month--I would allow myself a treat. I had to walk, ride my bike, or do calisthenics, most of my waking hours.
• I have been at a weight I felt I looked good at two other times. I could not have over 1200 calories a day—and to take the last of the weight off, I had to go down to 800 calories a day--and I had to walk a minimum of 6 miles a day. I allowed myself a treat once every two weeks.

More facts:

• I understand how the body works regarding the amount in verses the amount out.
• I understand the argument that you should never go below 1200 calories.
• I understand what foods are low calorie-high nutrient vs. empty high-calorie foods.
• I understand food diaries, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Marie Osmond’s pay check, Kirstie Alley’s pay check, blah, blah, blah…

I also know this: when you have Fibromyalgia, once again, your body does not care what the rules are.

Fibro-reality facts:

• To walk 6 miles a day, I have to accomplish essentially nothing else. I walk, rest, walk, rest, cry, rest, walk, rest, walk and cry, rest, cry, walk…
• I never “get in shape”.
• The “no pain-no gain” should be “I hurt so bad I could die-yet I still gain”!
• I can add riding my recumbent bike into the mix but that is just as exhausting, burns less calories, and I never “get in shape” on it either.
• Note: “Get in shape” meaning the point where I am not exhausted and in horrible pain from the activity.
• I incorporate Swiffering my floors and putting my laundry up into my step count so those two things get done.

I eat the “right stuff”, wear myself out, accomplish nothing else, and go into a flare to take off 8-10 pounds in a month. I have the “wrong stuff” two days—and I don’t mean 10,000 calories of it both days!—and I gain it all back.

And currently, I am losing the battle with weight so yes, I am LIVING a Big, Fat fibroLIFE©

Points I Want to Make:

• I know we have to be proud of the “skin we are in”.
• I know my husband loves me.
• I know what Momma means when she says, “I just worry about your heart…”
• I know people still think I have a pretty face.
• I know how smart I am, how creative I am, etc.
• But I also know I HATE being FAT.
• I also know I will scream if one more person tells me they “have the answer” in this drink, that powder, this supplement, etc. OK, I will not actually scream. I will be polite and they will once again not know that on the inside I am having a royal fit!
• I do not want to read another book that tells me what to eat, what not to eat, how much to eat, etc. Good grief, I know all that!
• I just want my body—my fibroBODY©--to “play by the rules” for once!
• I just want to be able to walk enough and still be able to accomplish other things.
• I just want to be at a weight I do not feel horribly fat looking.

What Am I Going to Do?
​
Well, now that I have gotten all of that out of my system…

• I am sure I will hear from a few people that will tell me “this is different…” I will be polite…
• I am sure someone will tell me, “If you will just read this book…” I may even read the D@&# thing.

I am going to keep doing the best I can.

• I am watching my calories.
• I am walking—but I simply cannot go back to doing NOTHING but walking. My health—physical and mental—will not allow it.

At the same time, I am going to be happy, positive, and forward thinking—typical me!
I am going to LIVE my Big, Fat fibroLIFE©!

Besides, even when I am thin folks, I am over-the-top and bigger-than-LIFE most of the time anyway. ;-) Those of you who know me, feel free to verify that in your comments! ;-)

May you LIVE your fibroLIFE to the fullest every day!
Meshea Crysup, Founder fibroLIFE©, LIVING a Big, Fat, fibroLIFE©