While dealing with a particularly rough day of LIVING a fibroLIFE, I have found myself smiling...thanking God for "REAL Friends".
It has been a particularly busy time for Darren and I for more than just a few months now. Before that, I was still trying to figure out "fibroLIFE" without my essential, beloved Co-Director, Kathy Keeney. My lack of progress here at LIVING a fibroLIFE has frustrated me to no end, but a couple of days ago it seemed to me that I was finally at a point that I could "get back to work". Of course, "seemed" is the operative word here...and things have not not turned out as they "seemed" they should be able to.
Ah yes, everyone, not just those of us with FMS, faces this: "The best laid plans of mice and men..."
If I were giving counsel to someone else with FMS...or anyone for that matter... in this situation, I would be saying things like, "Prioritize..." , "Don't be afraid to say NO...", etc. It is not that I do not know these things. The problem is practicing what I know...and preach!
What does this have to do with REAL Friends?
I am so very glad you asked!
In this midst of this difficult time, someone I respect and want to be helpful to requested that I write something for a project she is working on. It was not going to be as simple as just sitting down and whipping out a few words. In my case, I was going to have to back up and do some research before I would feel comfortable producing the requested piece.
I stated earlier that I respect this person and want to help them...and that is very true. However, I have never met or even spoken to this person. We met online, through a mutual friend. Regardless of our lack of knowing one another outside of our shared Cyber World, I was honored by her considering me to participate in the project, therefore, I explained that I needed a bit of time to conduct some research and said I would be happy to do so. This person...that I only know online...knows all about LIVING a fibroLIFE and replied, "No. I will not have you taking the time right now to do that."
Wow. If you understand the limitations of having FMS then you also understand that this person chose to be a REAL friend to me. She put my wellbeing above her own needs...and it does not get any more REAL than that!
As many of us with FMS do, on this same day, I shared on facebook that I was feeling very badly but had several things I had to do and many other things I wanted to do. This time I was given counsel by someone I do know outside of Cyber World, but have not actually been around in well over 15 years. It was not a lecture. She simply said, "Prioritize...Needs first, then if you have the energy move on to wants. Hope you feel better soon."
She took the time out of her busy day to remind me of what I preach to everyone else on a daily basis. No judgment...just a gentle nudge into doing what was best for me. A few seconds on a keyboard and a few words sent a message that made such a REAL difference in how I was feeling about the facts of the fibroDAY I was having.
You do not have to have FMS for my point to apply to you. In fact, that is one of the main themes I address in LIVING a fibroLIFE: Having FMS does not make us so very different from those who do not have FMS...really. Also, these examples may seem insignificant...or at least not as significant...to you. After all, they were not big gestures, showy, expensive, or time-intensive: They were far more! They were REAL-life examples of how REAL friends behave...of how we must behave to be a REAL friend...of what REAL friendship looks like in REAL practice.